Page 24 - March 2011 • Southern California Gaming Guide

Bob Dancer: Video Poker
I Can’t Afford That
was playing $25 nsu (not so ugly) Deuces Wild somewhere. Although the game only returns 99.73%, the players club and promotions were such that the game was attractive to me. On this particular day, I wasn’t doing particularly good or bad, but I’d hit several w2gs. After all, a
straight ush pays $1,250 (every 195 hands), 5-of-a-kind pays $2,000 (every 321 hands), and a wild royal pays $3,125 (every 524 hands). Four Deuces for $25k or a royal for $100k were not in the cards on this particular day. I’d played an hour, hit six of these “minor” w2gs, and was about even.
Most casinos put their $25 games in some sort of a high-limit room, but this place didn’t. I was sitting near a woman playing 25¢ Keno, two coins at a time, who started playing before I got there and was still there an hour later. I’d just hit a $2,000 jackpot and she congratulated me.
“I can’t a ord to play like you are,” she told me.
“ at’s ironic,” I told her.“Because I can’t a ord to play like you are.” She looked at
on my list of why I gamble. I gamble for pro t and to nd situations to write about.
I never learned the name of the woman who spoke to me, but I’ll call her “Betty.” Although I didn’t say much to her, Betty told me way too much about herself. She brings $60 a week (at most) and plays for two hours or until she loses her money. is particular week she was
monthly expenses in the bank before you set one foot into a casino. Clearly most people don’t follow this rule of thumb. I didn’t ask Betty how much she had in savings. It wasn’t any of my business and she was already talking far more than I wanted her to.
I’m generally looking at gambling from a long term point of view. Although I need to be aware of short-term money (i.e., how much cash-on-hand do I have to play a particular game—and/or do I have a line of credit available), primarily I’m looking at “expected dollars per hour.” I know that my results will go up and down, but since I’m only playing games where I have the edge, my year-to-date score continues to increase, albeit with many bumps in the road.
Each of us needs to establish our own rules of thumb as to what we can a ord. Shirley and I will sometimes spend money on dance classes, for example, which will not be in most of your budgets. But that’s something we do for fun and consider it an investment in “us.”
Bob Dancer is America’s best-known video poker writer and teacher. He has a variety of “how to play better video poker” products, including the software “Video Poker for Winners,” his new book, Video Poker for the Intelligent Beginner, Winner’s Guides, strategy cards, his autobiography Million Dollar Video Poker, and his two novels, including Sex, Lies, and Video Poker. Dancer’s products, may be ordered at www. bobdancer.com or at 1-800-244-2224 Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Pacific Time.
me as though I was speaking a language which was totally foreign to her. And I suppose I was.
“My belief is that I’m financially set for life if I don’t do anything stupid. Playing
25¢ Keno falls under the ‘stupid’ category to my way of
thinking. Could I afford losing $40 a week on this game if I
thought it fun? Of course. But I don’t think it is fun.”
almost through her two hours and was actually ahead a little bit—which was quite unusual. She depends on Social Security for most of her income and the $60 a week is what she budgets for gambling.
I don’t know how closely Betty had been watching, but I’d input more than $10,000 into the machine I was playing, with most of it coming from being paid for the minor jackpots. She likely had no idea if
What I meant is that I have
a personal rule that I’ll never
play a casino game where the
house has the edge. I didn’t
check out the pay schedule of
the Keno games at this casino,
but rather assumed that the
return was very bad. Typically,
Keno machines return 86%–
94%, with slight variations
based on how many coins you
bet and how many numbers
you select. I have the tools to
do this calculation, but I rarely make the e ort.
I was ahead or behind over all, but at $125 a hand it was easy for her to know that this was beyond her budget.
Betty was looking at everything from a very short term point of view. My personal view is that she can’t even a ord the $60 a week, but that’s not my call. I believe that you should have at least 3 to 6 months of typical
My belief is that I’m nancially set for life if I don’t do anything stupid. Playing 25¢ Keno falls under the“stupid” category to my way of thinking. Could I a ord losing $40 a week on this game if I thought it fun? Of course. But I don’t think it is fun. Plus, “fun” and “excitement” are low
PAGE 24
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA GAMING GUIDE
March 2011